Previous English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the disease.
"There's a certain facing the future and not wanting to completely absorb that at the moment," he said.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "calm" as he focuses on his current welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I process things uniquely, and once I have the facts, it's easier," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some weakness in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a number of scans showed neural pathways in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly extremely affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think everything is fine," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't experience sick
"My indications are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder region.
"I remain able to accomplishing whatever I want. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress rapidly.
According to the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a 33% of people within a twelve months and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he spoke about telling his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the drops off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody said the emphasis was staying in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just accepting and enjoying everything now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been truly blessed that the primary determination I made when I left playing was to devote as much time with the kids as attainable. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Link
Elite competitors are unevenly influenced by MND, with studies proposing the rate of the illness is up to sixfold elevated than in the general population.
It is thought that by reducing the oxygen accessible and producing harm to nerve cells, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the disease in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical phase of play, setting a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing field goal.
Support Network
Moody has already notified Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other previous team-mates about his medical situation, but the rest will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a wonderful family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even when it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to label your love your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will desire to support in any way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
